seeing through the eyes of Jesus.

This week has been great.  It's been a rough two weeks for me because i've been struggling with severe homesickness, emotional stress, burned out feelings and this constant lack of joy i'm so used to having in my life.  This week we talked about team building and what it really means to be united.  It was really a moving week.  It started off where people were hesitant to share personal things but by today everyone was   opening up and being vulnerable with each other.  The kind of vulnerable that only happens when trust is formed and you really start to see people for who they are and not for their crap.

And that's really what happened this week. We grew. Together. As a team.  I'm not really one to look down on people, i get annoyed easily yes, but i don't judge others for what they've done.  So, when past struggles were revealed this week and hearts were poured out I began to love people more than i already had.  Because of peoples honestly, it allowed me to see them and to be able to understand them more.  It gave me more of a heart for them and I truly want to see everyone on my team succeed.

I've felt like i've been in this spiritual slump lately.  It's kind-of expected though being here & learning all this new stuff.  It's easy to get burned out because you're taking so much in and i'm gaining head knowledge but unless i move that knowledge into my heart it doesn't do much for me.  I'm starting to see that.  It's been hard for me lately to accept God's love.  He loves me regardless but I have to be willing to recieve that love.  It's something i've really been struggling with.  Even though i may say I relent something to God it doesn't always mean that I gave it to Him and a lot of the times I don't. It's a motion that I go through.  He knows that but he continues to tell me over and over and over again. I love you. No matter what you think or do or say, I love you.  It's hard because I struggle with not being able to feel God's love around me even though it engulfs me all the time.  He holds me close to His heart because he can. Not because he has to but because he wants to.  It's quite an amazing feeling when you are finally able to grasp that.

He shows his love in many ways and the biggest way to me is through people.  If you've ever studied people or just watch how they are we have such quirky mannerisms. It's great.  I've been given a new appreciatin today for the people here on my DTS.  I've been dealing with thoughts of not being loved or liked by people here but God kindof put a stop to that through my friend Emily.  Emily is a beautiful friend who I admire greatly.  She has a heart full of love, a chill spirit, and a passion that burns for God.  We had taken a walk to get tacos and I poured my heart out to her about my struggles with small group and groups of girls in general.  I'm not going to go into detail but it was a conversation that really helped me.  I'm someone who likes to hear that they're loved it's my biggest love language.  I like to know that I have value in peoples lives ya know?  So, it's been hard sometimes here when I don't feel like that.  It stems from an insecurity I have about myself and a lack of confidence.  Emily helped me see that today.  She told me it was going to be a daily struggle and that I would have to keep telling myself things over and over again. But she helped me regain some joy that was lost by helping me to see things and people in a whole new light.

Well, it's 1 'o' clock in the morning and i'm quite exhausted.  I figured i'd pencil all of my thoughts out while I had the chance though.

love. love. love.

live like a disciple of Jesus.

This past week here in Ensenada, Mexico was great! (: We learned about how to be like disciples of Jesus.
There's two main things you need to do. Are you ready?

1. Love Jesus
2. Love Others

Plain and simple.  If we love Jesus we want to be in his word.  By being in the word we want to love others.  By loving Jesus we want to be in communication with him through prayer.  It's a circle that just keeps going.  Our speaker Art Collins was AMAZING! He told it like it was and didn't cut corners.  He gave us each the version of the bible called "The Message."  Well, we were supposed to pay him so i'll be sending him some money.  I really like this version.  It's not necessarily something I'll study from but it's worth reading.  It words things in a way that's easier to understand. We were given a guide to reading the bible and right now we are supposed to be reading through Matthew.  We underline, highlight and write what stood out to us.  It's a great way to go about learning from the bible.  In Matthew 5 it says this

[from the message]
"You're blessed when you're content with just who you are--no more, no less.  That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought."

How true is that?  Being content with who you are is SUCH a hard thing.  I can totally attest to that but the message puts it so well. Once we are content with who we are then we see the beauty in how God made us and we find ourselves totally lost in a beautiful world with Jesus.

Go buy yourself the message.  Just do it.  You might not agree with everything in it but it's something that will help you comprehend the bible.

Well, that's all for now! I'll write again soon!

comment.

This is a topic that has been set on my heart the past two days.  As a disclaimer everything said in this note is my opinion it is not meant to judge, hurt or cause anger.  It is things I feel convicted of and feel I should share with others.  Everything said I am learning to apply to my life as well.

Modesty

a. the quality of being modest; freedom from vanity,boastfulness, etc.

b. regard for decency of behavior, speech, dress, etc.

c. simplicity; moderation.

Modesty doesn't always just apply to clothing, but in this case it's what I'm referring to mostly.  When getting dressed in the morning what are the reasons why we choose different outfits?  It is because we want to wear something that looks good on us or that is comfortable.  When choosing shirts to wear though why do we choose to wear lower cut shirts? I'm not saying that this is wrong, I'm just looking at the motives behind it.   Do we do it because we want to draw attention to ourselves? Because we like how it looks? Or both?  As girls we often want attention right? Maybe not everyone but I'm guilty of it.  I like attention, not in all circumstances and not necessarily in this one. For me I sometimes wear shirts that are lower but with a tank top yet it does not mean that my motives are right in doing so.  Is it God-honoring to wear a shirt like that with the motive behind it being that I want attention or I want to be noticed?  The answer would be no.  Modesty is first and foremost a matter of the heart, not the wardrobe.  So, next time you go to put something on check your heart first.

I think it comes down to a respect thing.  Respect for our brothers in Christ.  Why would we want to be stumbling blocks to them? I'm not a guy but if I accidently notice something I don't want to see I most definitely think they will.  If it's there, guys WILL notice.  And being a guy from what I hear is NOT easy.  Shouldn't we respect them and how God created them by making their lives easier?  Shouldn't we bless them by choosing to not be stumbling blocks. Guys might not even notice that we are trying to be modest but do we need the recognition for this?  No, this is something we can do and God will see it and smile.  I can't think of anything better than to make my Father in heaven happy.

 If we are modest, we do not draw undue attention to ourselves. Instead, we seek to glorify God in [our] body, and in [our] spirit.  Our good works should outshine our outward appearances as well. 

1st Timothy 2"9-10 "women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works."

Let's check our hearts when it comes to modesty.  Modesty in clothing, modesty in behavior, and modesty in speech.  Maybe God has something he'd like to say to us in this area.  I've been convicted lately and thought I would share my thoughts with you.  Our goal everyday should be to bring God the glory; in how we dress, what we say, and how we act. I leave you with this.

1 Peter 3:3-4 "Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is veryprecious."

Your thoughts would be great <3

http://www.therebelution.com/modestysurvey/browse